Ingelrayok
by CoCo Krispies
Summary: After the end of their search for the Hand of Franklin, RayK returns to Chicago. When Fraser seems to cut him out of his life at every turn, he decides to find out why. The title means 'Journey' in Inuit.


A.N. Alright so here is my first foray into the Due South world. This fic did not turn out the way I wanted it to and it was rewritten 3 times so... yeah... here goes I hope everyone enjoys it.

By the way I have no Beta, any volunteers?

Warnings: Spoilers for end of series. OOC, Boys missing boys, maybe some language in there somewhere... some kissing... and oh dear lord the sap, so much sap!I think that is about it actually. Holy crap... this is going to be a tame fic. Dude mark this event, someone find me calendar.

Disclaimer: Do I really need to tell you I don't own Due South or anyone in it? Really? Fine destroy my little illusions. I don't own any of it.

Leaning his hip on the desk behind him, allowing his weight to rest on sturdy wood, Fraser tried to hold back his weary sigh. Pointedly ignoring the stack of paper behind him on the desk, he swore he could almost feel himself wilt. Just what he wanted another night of staying late in order to approve or deny stupid requisition forms and the placement of some of the new recruits that would be arriving. He would never say it out loud to any one he worked with, or anyone else actually, but he hated when the novices were sent to him.

He had hoped that once he made the choice to stay in Canada, things would be easier. To leave everything and everyone he had met and known in Chicago behind. He had hoped to have more time in the wilderness, more time to himself to think about what he no longer had and what he had never had. What he had given up. Being chained to a desk every day had not been in his plans at all.

"Don't look like that, Sir. You know this is only a temporary position. Once Alex comes back you can go back to your little hermit patrol." Came a voice from his side.

Looking down at the small blond at his side, Fraser gave a wry grin to her.

"That is what you said a month ago." Fraser said.

"That is what I will keep saying to, at least until Alex comes back. Which I promise that he will."

"Lacey, if you would just tell me what the hell is going on and where exactly he went so suddenly, it might make things a little easier for me." Fraser said, hoping that maybe this time he would get an answer out of the girl.

"No can do Benton-buddy. Top secret after all."

"Please don't call me that Lacey. Now do you have anything else for me to add to this pile?" Fraser asked quickly, wanting to get the girl out of there. That nick name bringing back memories he didn't want to think about with others present.

"No, your good for now. You finish that and you can go home." Lacey said.

"Alright, go ahead and take a break then." Fraser said, shaking his head at her. Standing and moving to sit behind his desk rather than on it.

Ignoring the phone that was ringing, knowing Lacey would grab it on her way out, Fraser let his mind wonder just a little. He had taken this post knowing he would be away from his home for at least 9 months out of the year, and he had been OK with that. Even better was that while Lacey and Alex were known for their practical jokes and antics they were also two of the best mounties around. Their rather spirited nature is partly what had drawn him to them when no one else had wanted the post to share. Though at times they reminded him to much of his former partner, and that led to thoughts that were best left for the cover of night.

"Sir you have a call on line 1." Lacey said interrupting his thoughts, thankfully.

"Take a message for now and I will call them back later. I really need to get this paper work done." Fraser said absently.

"He said if you gave the excuse of paper work one more time he would come down here and kick you in the head." Lacey said with a grin, not even bothering to relay the message to the person on hold.

Fraser felt his breath stop at those words. It had been 4 months since he had said good bye to Ray at the airport, watching him fly home to Chicago. God, letting Ray leave had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do. He had made a point not to talk to Ray since then. Every time he called he made sure he was to busy to answer the phone, lost the messages and flat out lied to get out of talking to him. He knew that it was wrong and he probably hurt Ray doing this. But he knew that if he was to so much as hear the other mans voice on the phone, he would be on a flight back to Chicago at once. He would break down and tell Ray how much he missed him, how much he wanted to be with him again. This time though as more than just the close friends they had been.

"Then tell him something else. I can't...I mean I don't..." Fraser stuttered, not quite sure what he should say right now.

"Benton-buddy, one would think you don't like me anymore." Came a painfully familiar voice. A voice he heard every night in his dreams, and even during the daylight hours at times.

"Ray?" Fraser gasped as the spiky haired blond walked into the office.

"And that's my Que to leave. I will go and welcome Alex back while you two get the reunion out of the way." Lacey said with a wide smile as she left the room. Closing the door firmly behind her to leave the two alone.

"So tell me what the problem is Fraser. Four months and I don't hear a peep out of you. You don't answer or return my calls. Ignore my letters or at least you don't write back to me. So what gives Frase? Why the brush off? Did I do something wrong?" Ray asked walking further into the room, eyes locked on a rather skittish looking Fraser. Setting a rather heavy looking back pack down at his feet.

"No! No, Ray. It was nothing you did, I swear Ray. It was... is all my fault." Fraser said, not moving from beside his desk. He was so scared if he stepped near the other man he would be unable to control himself. The shock to his system at seeing the other like this was shutting down a good portion of his brain.

"What are you doing here? How did you get here?" Fraser asked.

"Oh you know, took this car, took this plane. Then a long ass hike up the side of this mountain and here I am. And really you people should tell your tourist just how sunny it can get here in the summer time. As for why I am here. Well you can blame you little friend Alex for that one. I was worried when you seemed to drop of the planet. But I figured that maybe you were out in the wilderness and just had not gotten any of my messages yet. Imagine my surprise when another Mounty shows up at my door in Chicago, worried about you. He had all sorts of things to tell me. The leading thing being that you were here for almost every one of my calls and ignored them. That you eagerly awaited all of my letters, yet never returned a one. So I came up here to find out why my best friend all of a sudden decides to avoid me like the damn plague." Ray said closing the distance between them, only stopping when about a foot was between them.

Fraser tried to keep himself calm at the close proximity to the other. It had been so damn long since he had seen this man. The urge to touch almost overwhelming him. Ray's scent, an odd combination of Cinnamon and snow, making him feel a bit light headed.

"Alex came to Chicago?" Fraser asked finally finding his voice.

"He was worried about you. Lacey was as well from what I understand. From what I have gathered, you have shut out everyone and seem intent on working yourself to death. I want to know why." Ray said.

"I am fine Ray I assure you. They had no reason to cause such worry by doing this." Fraser said.

"Oh get off it Frase. Your my best friend and I thought I was yours. I spent three months out in the snow and ice with you. Just the two of us, not to mention being partners for several years before that. I would like to think I know you at least a little. Right now your hiding something, something that is bothering you more than just a little, and I want to know what it is. I want to help, I want my best friend back. I don't care if I have to push and pry and make a complete fool of myself in the process, I will stay right here until I am satisfied." Ray said softly.

"Let it drop Ray." Fraser pleaded. He really, really did not want to do this. It hurt to be apart from Ray, but that pain would be nothing to what he would feel if Ray ended up hating him.

"No can do, that's not buddies. You can tell me anything you should know this by now. Or would you rather I start guessing? I am good at that." Ray asked.

"I don't want to lose you." Fraser found himself saying after a moment of silence. He didn't remember deciding to say anything, but apparently his mouth had decided without him.

"What?" Ray asked confused.

Looking away from the smaller male before him, Fraser tried to put his thoughts into words that might make at least a little sense.

"I said I don't want to lose you."

"With the way you been acting recently that is not what it looks like to me. Looks like you want me as far away from you as possible." Ray said gently.

"That's not what I want. Not at all. But I didn't know what else to do." Fraser decided then he may as well tell Ray everything. After all he had come all the way here to check on him even after the way he had treated the other. If Ray didn't speak to him again... well it couldn't be any worse than things where now. At least Ray wouldn't be hurt by his callous behavior any longer.

"Fraser...Ben... talk to me. What the hell is going on?" Ray asked, reaching up to turn Fraser to look at him. His fingers grasping gently at a firm smooth jaw.

Fraser shuddered at both the touch and the use of that name. A name that no one else ever got close enough to actually use. Unable to stop himself from leaning into that longed for touch.

"I didn't want you to leave. I didn't want you to go back to Chicago four months ago. I wanted you to stay here... with me." Fraser admitted.

"OK, that is a start. Now tell me why you think that would upset me" Ray said.

"Ray I didn't want you to leave me. I wanted you at my side, as my friend, as my partner...as my lover. I wanted you to stay. After you left I couldn't face you knowing that. It hurt to much to be faced with what I couldn't ever have." Fraser whispered, closing his eyes, not wanting to see Ray's face at this moment.

"Is that all?" Ray asked.

Those calmly spoken words made his eyes snap open wide and his entire body jerk in surprise.

There is no way he just heard that right. Staring at the other, confused not entirely sure what he should be feeling at the moment.

"Fraser you could have saved yourself so much trouble if you would just speak to me. If you wanted me to stay, all you had to do was ask." Ray said with a soft smile.

"All I had to do... are you playing with me Ray?" Fraser gasped.

"That's joking Frase, and no I am not. For someone that can read people like no one else I have ever met, your blind when you want to be. If you had asked me to stay I would have. Even if it was just as friends I would have stayed. I love it up here, you think I would have spent three months in a Canadian winter if I hadn't enjoyed myself." Ray asked.

"I see."

"Not to mention I have been hitting on you almost since we first met. You think I am that touchy with just anyone? I figured you weren't interested so I made sure to keep it just buddies between us. If I had even the slightest hint from you though that the attraction had been mutual, that tent would have been a hell of a lot warmer, let me tell you." Ray grinned.

"I am not talking just attraction Ray, I want everything." Fraser tried explaining. He was trying real hard to wrap his head around this conversation. The fact that Ray wanted him was not an idea he had ever entertained, not to mention he was still trying to figure out when Ray had been dropping hints that he was interested.

"Look Ben, I want everything to. I am to old for flings and affairs Since you can't seem to say it I will. I love you, I want to fall asleep in holding you every night and wake up in your arms every morning. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Ray whispered, leaning forward and capturing the others lips in a soft, deep kiss. Showing in actions as well as words just what he wanted.

"Yes Ray, yes that is what I want. But I was scared to ask for it. Scared that you might hate me for it. I didn't... I couldn't risk that. Love you so much." Fraser panted into the others mouth. He had waited so long to taste Ray, he didn't want to let go now.

"Then I am yours. It's that simple." Ray murmured, allowing his arms to come up and hold the other closer to him. Fraser returned the embrace happily.

In all the scenarios he had acted out in his head if Ray had found out, this one had never been at the top. He had hoped of course, but he didn't think he would have been this lucky.

"Now unfortunately, your going to have two very curious mounties out side this office door. That means we need to continue this in a more private setting." Ray said finally pulling back from the embrace.

Fraser wanted nothing more than to say forget about everything else and make use of that wonderful desk behind them... or even the chair. But Ray was right, this was neither the time or place for it.

"I can leave in an hour...stay until then? Alex and Lacey can take over at that point." Fraser asked hesitantly. He didn't want to seem overly clingy, but the thought of Ray leaving even briefly made him ache right then.

"Not going anywhere. We have things to discuss anyway and I need to call a few people back home and let them know I won't be coming back. Your stuck with me Benton-Buddy." Ray grinned, finally releasing the other.

"You really want to live here?"

"I want to live with you Fraser. Canada, Chicago it doesn't matter where so long as I am with you. Besides I was more than a little hopeful when I left Chicago and had already handed in my resignation. I had already decided I wouldn't be going back there, like I said your suck with me now." Ray stated firmly.

"Stop there Ray. If you say anymore I am afraid even I may not be able to wait until later to continue this talk." Fraser managed in a raspy voice.

"Go on then back to work. You have one hour then your mine." Ray said making a quick shooing motion with his hands, taking a seat in front of his desk and picking up the phone there. Not bothering to ask for permission before starting to place the first.

To be honest Fraser found he didn't really care. Ray was here with him, going to stay with him, loved him. Right now Fraser would give the man anything he asked for at that moment in time. Quickly taking his seat to get his work out of the way, Fraser found his mind wondering to later tonight and just what was going to take place. Whatever happened he would face it head on, with Ray at his side. It was all he had ever wanted.

Owari

A.N. (Pouting) That is so not how this fic was supposed to turn out at all. Oh well... I hope it was enjoyable anyway.


End file.
